Deviant Advice

Hi Deviant Advice.

So maybe I’m just strange, but my girlfriend and I are… I think we’re growing apart. I love her totally and we’re even talking about moving to California to get married. Well, we were at least. Anyways, so we really love each, or so I thought. I came in one day and she’s watching porn, HET PORN. Some guy and some girl having sex. She always told me she was just into girls and didn’t like men at all, but now this? What’s the deal? Is she really straight? Is she bi? I don’t know what’s going on.

- SA, Houston

Well SA, I really don’t envy your position at all. I mean, you all have read to access to both watch AND make lesbian portn. Do either of you realize what you’re sitting on there? I mean, if you’re hot then holy SHIT you could be making BANK! But no… you sound like someone who believes in silly things like “love” and “honesty” and “telling people your real last name.” All great concepts that don’t work out in real life anyways (you mean your last name isn’t Schwarzendepp? -ed), so why not just abandon that now and save yourself some crap later.

So is she bi? Straight? Gay? Honestly, who cares. As long as she still gives you the good lezbo love, then it’s all good right? Of course it is! So why not USE it. She likes watching het porn, then fire it up on occasion. It’s not like it’s JUST about you, ya know? So maybe she needs a little dick in her oatmeal (wtf? I’m checking your browser history -ed) on occasion, it’s not like it’s going to kill you. So don’t be afraid to get your freak on and watch some hot 19-year old destroy her hopes, dreams, morals, cervix for $350/day. Trust me, every now and again me and the girlfriend fire up a little crazy stuff (penguins aren’t erotic.. they simply aren’t, stop it! -ed) and let our imaginations run free. I don’t feel any different towards her and she doesn’t feel different towards me. Sure, she cries more often, but that’s normal right?