Deviant Advice

Hi There.

Ok. This is embarassing. My boyfriend totally wants to be one of those UFC/MMA fighters. He “trains” all the time and talks about entering the local fights here, but he never does. It’s good though, because he’d get his ass kicked in seconds. I really do want him to be happy, but I also want him to realize that he really can’t make this work. Deviant Advice, how do I break this news to him?

- CH, Ann Arbor

Well CH, we here at Deviant Advice think you’re absolutely wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. You should go the other way and heavily encourage your boyfriend to get into the octagon as soon as he can. Why not? What’s the worst that could happen?

Well, yeah… there’s that whole “get the crap beat out of you and be embarassed in front of everyone you know” thing, but that’s small potatoes compared to the knowledge that you actually went out and went after something you totally believed in.  Of course, the fact that the “something” involves you getting the crap kicked out of you just makes it more entertaining beause we all get to watch you fail as it happens. It’s wonderful really and, frankly, helps us feel better about the kinds of people we are… which is Horrible People.

So CH, get behind me and encourage him. Tell him that he has what it takes to get out there and spar with that lanky meth-head who’s known to occasionally fight people for a sandwich. You don’t need the skills of Tito Ortiz, Georges St Pierre, or even Chuck Liddell. All you need is heart.

And one HELL of an insurance plan.

Let’s get it on!!