Deviant Advice

To: badadviceforgoodpeople@gmail.com
From: XXXXX@gmail.com
Subject: Polygamy is a sin

Do you not understand that polygamy is a sin? Why are you sitting there telling people it’s ok to marry as many people as they want? It’s a SIN in the eyes of THE LORD and you are not doing the lord’s work. You should take your disgusting web site down.

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Or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, or whatever the hell it is you happen to celebrate that just so happens to completely ignores my loving God, eventually bringing down his loving wrath upon you godless heathens…

So anywho… it’s the holidays. Yes, that magical time of year when people put aside their personal differences long enough to bludgeon their fellow man to death in the aisle of a Toys-R-Us just so they can get the latest “gotta have it” toy for their spoiled-rotten children who will invariably discard said after about 30 minutes. Of course, not all people take the same view of the holidays as we do here at the Deviant Advice offices (drunk -ed). Some folks see this time of year as stressful and even saddening. Well, cheer up my friend. We here at Deviant Advice are proud to present our guide to surviving the holidays with your sanity, emotions, maybe even your liver, relatively intact…

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We here at Deviant Advice want to take a second from our usual routine of being sarcastic bastards and give thanks for the high points of the past year.

We’d like to, but we aren’t. So let’s do this list DA style…

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Well, as expected, the review of “New Moon” caused quite the firestorm in our mailbox. Of the 147 pieces of mail we got, at least 85% were supportive of the review, including the following quotes:

• “I agree. WTF is up with sparkling vampires and shit? GAY”
• “I think that the entire Twilight Series should be burned and then cast into the sun.”
• “My mom loves this movie series. I think my mom is secretly telling me she likes gay porn.”
• “Bella – nudity = FAIL”
• “TwiGAY.”
• “Why didn’t they just call it Fail Moon?”

Of course, you all aren’t here to read about how everyone agrees with you, you’re here for the hate.. so let’s dig into the bag and pull out our favorite…

From: XXX@msn.com
To: badadviceforgoodpeople@gmail.com
Subject: why the TwiHATE LOLOL

Dear Deviant Advice People..

Why do you hate New Moon so mcuh? It’s the best movie ever and it’s rly romantic. Just because you don’t understand the relationship between Edward and Bella (I’m team EDward LOL) doesn’t men you gotta hate on the movie. What if you had a daughter and she wanted to see it? Would you let her? Or would you tell her “No, I don’t lik romance, you can’t go?” I wanna know.

Not Tell U Where I Live

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So “New Moon,” the newest movie installment of the “Twilight” book series is out. And that sound you hear is the simultaneous orgasmic throes of 40-old housewives across the country squealing like 14-year olds… which is actually the audience that “Twilight” is aimed for. So with that in mind, we present our honest, no-holds-barred review of “New Moon”…

*** WARNING: SPOILERS! Yes, I tell you that you will waste your life watching this movie…***

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