Back in the closet? (0)
February 7th, 2009 by Deviant Advice, under Advice.
Well Deviant Advice, this one’s tricky.
I’m a lesbian. At least, I thought I was a lesbian. My best friend is this guy I just met when I started this job, about two years ago. Everything’s been ok up until the last 6 months. I can’t stop thinking about him. And now I think I’m in love with him. What do I do? And no, I don’t have a partner right now, I’m single.
AM, Scranton
You know, AM, it’s times like this that I absolutely love my job.
There’s only one answer here. FUCK HIM. Seriously. Why do you care about your orientation? Think you’re a lesbian but want a good dickin’? Then you’re bisexual, congratulations. Now shut up and get laid. Do you feel some sort of obligation to keep wanting to be anti-wiener? If so, why? It’s not like all the lesbians out there have some rule book that says “once you go pink, you’re fucking locked into this decision until the end of your life” (worst slogan ever -ed). At least, the lesbians I talk to don’t. So you really shouldn’t care either.
There is one thing you probably want to change though. Using the word “partner.” Honestly people, just call them what they are. If you’re a lesbian, then she’s your Girlfriend, or your Wife. Are you a gay dude? Boyfriend or Husband. That’s probably the one thing that drives me absolutely batshit crazy about some of the gay folks. Other than that, y’all are cool. Especially the hot lesbian couples. *mmmmmm* Hot Lesbians (best band name EVAR -ed).
So, in short, enjoy the dick. And if his name is Richard, call him Dick.
Penis.
