Deviant Advice

Hi Deviant Advioce.

I’m not gay, I’m bi. But no one knows about it. Every one I know thinks I’m straight. I want to tell people i’m bi, is this bad?

- KL,  Manhattan

Is it bad? No. Greedy? Yup, sure as hell is! But who cares.

Honestly KL, your orientation shouldn’t matter to anyone, least of all you. Why? Well, it’s just not anyone’s business or concern. It doesn’t really say anything about you, except that you’re greedy (guess who spent most of his college days not dating? -ed).  There’s really no need to “come out” or anything like that, unless you happen to prefer men over women. If you’re just out for the occasional wang, then you’re bi with hetero tendencies. However, if you crave schlong and only occasionally prefer some vajayjay (goddamit Oprah, I hate you), then you’re bi with homo tendencies. It really is that simple.

Of course, you’re likely to come up against some opposition if you tell people what trips your trigger, blows your hair back, renders your type, puts the bomp in your bomp shebompshebomp, makes you orgasm (sorry, creativity running low). Some folks will likely accuse you of being greedy and indecisive (you’re just greedy, deal with it) and others will say you’re  a horrible monster. Obviously, you just need to ignore these idiots and go on about your greedy life.

Greedy. (issues? -ed)