That’s my boy! (0)
April 17th, 2009 by Deviant Advice, under Advice.
Dear Deviant Advice.
My son is turning 21 this year. Hell yeah! This is important and I really want to bring him into manhood in style. Is taking him to the strip club right? Or wrong? Let’s hear what you’ve got!
- ZD, Jacksonville
I can relate to this ZD. Currently I have two stepsons, one is 10 and the other is 8. And yes, I’m already planning their 18th and 21st birthday parties.
Strip club? With Dad? Get ON THAT! Seriously. I can only assume that you had “The Talk” with him when he was younger, so, basically, this is just a logical extension of that. Plus if you’re an afficionado, then the upshot is that you can teach him how to do this right.
But what about you, dear reader who may feel the same, but not know how to go about this? Well, let’s delve into some Strip Club Etiquette.
- Be a gentleman. Yes, there’s exposed boobs and cold beer. However, the pairing of the two doesn’t give you license to act a fool.
- They don’t love you, don’t act like it. This is a business transaction, so act accordingly.
- Don’t throw money. Seriously. Rappers do this and you aren’t a rapper.
- Let her set the tone. If she offers you the cleavage pickup, go for it. Otherwise, let it go. Wait till later.
- Did we mention yet that she doesn’t love you? Because she doesn’t.
- If you pay for a lapdance, you get just a lapdance.
- Acknowledge the bouncers. Don’t treat them like they’re famil, but be courteous.
- Don’t haggle the door, cheapass.
- Help your broke-ass friends, create a Community Chest. Everyone deserves at least one turn at Pervert Row.
- Seriously, she’s only in love with your wallet.
There you. Ten, 10 simple steps that will ensure your strip club experience is full of quality and, play your cards right, full of quantity experiences. Just remember rule 1 and your experience is absolutely golden, I promise you.
Congrats on your son’s impending entrance into Manhood. If we had a way to get down to Jacksonville, we’d join you there and help bring his drunk ass into a whole new world. We’ve got an entire stack of $1’s that would be MUCH better served in the g-string of some girl who’s dreams we’re destroying.
